The Wilderness Wasn't Punishment

By Bhilanna Temol -  May 28, 2025

 

"I promised that if He led me, I would follow."
"I promised that if He led me, I would follow."

 

Growing up, I always knew about God — the Bible stories, the prayers, the songs — but I didn't know Him personally. I leaned on the faith of my family, especially my grandma’s, believing it would be enough. I had everything I needed: love, support, comfort. So, I didn’t feel the urgency to seek God for myself. Without realizing it, I let my pride and comfort build an identity that didn't reflect the child of God I was called to be.

It wasn't until the end of high school, when I found myself broken and desperate for something more, that I prayed a dangerous prayer: I told God I wanted a real relationship with Him — whatever it took. I promised that if He led me, I would follow.

That prayer led me to Andrews University. I had no plan to go to a Christian school, but somehow, God brought me here without me even researching it. And for the first time in my life, I was stripped of the safety nets I had always depended on. No family nearby. No familiar friends. Just me, alone... and God.

It was painful. It was lonely. Many days, it felt like a mistake. But slowly, in that loneliness, I met God in ways I never had before. He sent people to encourage me, to reflect His love, and through every heartbreak and every blessing, He showed me: I have never left you.

These past four years have been the hardest and loneliest part of my life, but they've also been the most beautiful. Through every challenge, God refined me. He answered my prayer — not by making things easy, but by drawing me closer to Him, showing me what it truly means to put Him first.

Now I see: the wilderness wasn’t punishment — it was preparation. It was the place where my faith became real.

On April 19, 2024, I made the decision to publicly declare that my life belongs to Christ. I don't just know about God anymore — I know Him. And I know I never want to walk this life without Him again.


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